Ramblingsat33

Marriage

2007-08-09T06:47:00.000-07:00

Urminder aka Urmi paaji got married this week. Was posting a congratulatory message on his Orkut scrapbook when I noticed this scrap. Since it was worth a mention, I am publishing as my post. The credit for posting this goes to the person named "Peace" with a photograph of a Priyanka Chopra (I think)
Before the marriage:

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.

Now after the marriage you can read it from bellow to up !!!!

TCS Payhike

2007-07-03T06:37:00.000-07:00

Yeah ...I know you have been searching for all the reviews by TCSers after the recent apparent hike of paycheck. Been searching for words to describe my situation, but could not find any. Came across a Dilbert this morning and thought it would be able to describe the situation for me.
Well.. go ahead take a look and let me know.

Shivaji

2007-07-02T09:18:00.000-07:00

Few dialog's from the latest Rajnikant movie (do not know if they really there but are really good):
1) "After six, there's seven, after sivaji there's heaven. "
2) "If sachin hits it's sixer, if Sivaji hits it's stretcher."

And here's the killer:

3) "If you cross Chittod, there's Katpadi, if you cross Sivaji there's dead body"

Indian Stereotypes

2007-05-25T06:46:00.000-07:00

My punjabi pride has been abused by people from the cities of Mumbai to Chennai to Calcutta (Kolkatta) to Hyderabad to Bangalore to London, I thought it was high time I dig my old mails and publish this piece. (Credits: Siddhartha Dhar, DCEite batch of 2001)

One Bengali is a poet!
Two Bengalis is a film society!
Three Bengalis is a political party!
Four Bengalis is two political parties!

One Punjabi is a 100 kg hulk named Pinky!
Two Punjabis is a Pinky with his brother Twinky!
Three Punjabis is an assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local
McDonalds!
Four Punjabis is a combined IQ equal to one!

One Bihari is Laloo Prasad Yadav!
Two Biharis is a booth-capturing squad!
Three Biharis is a caste killing!
Four Biharis is the entire literate population of Patna!

One Mallu is a coconut stall!
Two Mallus is a boat race!
Three Mallus is a Gulf job racket!
Four Mallus is an oil slick!

One UP bhaiyya is a milkman!
Two UP bhaiyyas is a halwai shop!
Three UP bhaiyyas is a fist-fight in the UP assembly.! (HA HA HA HA)
Four UP bhaiyyas is a mosque-destruction squad!

One Gujju is a share-broker in a Bombay train!
Two Gujjus is a rummy game in a Bombay train!
Three Gujjus is a Rs. 10-crore sprocket manufacturing business!
Four Gujjus is an all-night dandia-raas session!

One Andhraite is a chilli farmer!
Two Andhraites is a software company in New Jersey!
Three Andhraites is a Naxalite outfit!
Four Andhraites is a song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie!

One Kashmiri is a carpet salesman!
Two Kashmiris is a carpet factory!
Three Kashmiris is a terrorist outfit!
Four Kashmiris is a shoot-at-sight order!

One Tamil-Brahm is a priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple.!
Two Tamil-Brahms is a maths tuition class!
Three Tamil-Brahms is a queue outside the U.S. consulate at 4a.m.!
Four Tamil-Brahms is a Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara!

One Bombayite is a footpath vada-pau stall!
Two Bombayites is a film studio!
Three Bombayites is a slum!
Four Bombayites is the number of people standing on your foot in the
train at rush hour

One Sindhi is a currency racket!
Two Sindhis is a papad factory!
Three Sindhis is a duplicate goods shop!
Four Sindhis is the Hong Kong Retail Traders Association!

I will be pleased by additions to these stereotypes. Any Indian not being represented here, or any CEE, or European, African, Asian, American or even penguins from Antartica.

The eternal knowledge

2007-05-10T15:21:00.000-07:00

He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches. - George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950), Man and Superman (1903)

After an interesting learning session at Talbot, I seek refuge in the great G B Shaw's opinion expressed in 1903 Novel Man and Superman. There was a session on eternal knowledge being passed by a brahmin of North India to the lesser mortals. Apparently, the messgaes indirectly derived from the conversations are as follows:
- Man is an animal who always follows primeval instincts of procreation by passing the millons of active sperms to a healthy and young female
- Women on the other hand is an intelligent homo sapien who can make intelligent choices. A female can be classified as a "Gold Digger" as she looks forward to receive the sperm of an animal who can provide her with Gold
- Going to a gentlemans club or a gentleman's night stop is an obligation of a self-respecting man towards the society. Its a way of giving back to the society and especially the East European women in English society
- There is no emperical emotion like love. Its just a manifestation of unsatisified hunger for a human contact. The romanticism is a symbolism of unfulfilled lust
- East European women are "easy" though not "cheap". There are a commercially attractive proposition !!!

SAFE HARBOUR: The views and opinions expressed in this page are strictly NOT those of the page author. The reader should bear in mind that these opinions have been expressed after a tough day and flushing 3 pints of Stella in half an hour.

The third types...

2007-05-04T09:04:00.000-07:00

Sir Nick has an opinion (on almost everything!!) and never shy to express it(Is that what's called British understatement?). In his recent blog, the first part of an expected series of the "Games People Play in Office" he has shared his insights of the motivation, modus operandi and successes/losses of the game. And to think about it, almost 99.6 % of all employees will agree to it. The rest will just go to his boss and tell him about it (The Game!!).
But thinking hard on the subordinate - boss relationship, Peter principle seemed right.
"In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence." - Peter principle.

Hence, there is always a team of all highly competent meritous professionals (HCMP), subordinates to a highly incompetent boss. And these HCMPs are of two types:

One: who don’t do it (or can’t do it), dislike "other" people sucking up to the boss and don’t do it. They want to make a mark on their own and rise up the ladder (Peter principle is never applicable to them but only to their boss).

Second: who don’t do it (or can’t do it) and dislike "other" people sucking up to the boss but still do it. They will be reported by the subordinates who are HCMPs.

You are in a precarious situation if you belong to either of the categories.

For the first types, the incompetent boss will never “like” you resulting in negative energy resulting from the friction. This friction is like that of a grinding wheel – there is noise, light and lot of heat. It may make you sharp but scrapes the content out of you. Also, for the other “rubber” wheels around, your sharpness may seem dangerous. All utility that you are left with is to produce more noise, light and heat with other HCMPs.

Now the "usual" second types, they often get verbally disliked by the Type I HCMPs and since "sucking" (no pun intended) is the only ladder to their success they are insecure about the other player in the field. This field is something like cricket field where all players try to grab the ball being hit by a Type I HCMP who is acting like a batsman. None but one (read balling player) will get a chance to rub/manage the ball (Pun well intended!!) while the rest of the players have to seek out as to when the ball is headed in their direction for a similar treatment. If your performance in the organization is like Sehwag's in recent times, the only contribution you make is to rub the ball.

Then there are the third types: who don’t do it all the time, but use the trick at the right time at the right place to achieve the right objective. These are the fast risers who can identify the balls to be hit and balls to be managed and when to do the same. Thats enough of a teaser for the time being, will keep writing on what it takes to be this 3rd type and what are its pros/cons. (Clue: Its related to the Dilbert above)

Happy reading!!

Seems to me that quoting someone's opinion is the best form of humour or intrigue, so here it goes:

“Flattery is the infantry of negotiation.” - Lord Chandos

Speak thousand words

2007-05-02T04:00:00.000-07:00

There has been quite a lull in the blog space for quite sometime, and some people adopting a new instrument of communicating their thoughts. The thought might be turning a bit sad as the "Beanpole" is no longer a part of the company. :-(
Anyways, on the lighter side of life .. was thinking about some innovative ways of having fun at someone else's expense and bumped onto this cartoon. Take a look BUT never be in his shoes.

Salad Bowl

2007-04-02T14:45:00.000-07:00

“DNA is an abbreviation for deoxyribonucleicantidisestablishmentarianism, a complex string of syllables.” - Dave Berry

Dave is no genetics expert but a simple humourist

No wonder that Dave won a pulitzer prize, another of his quotes perhaps sums up the solution quite succinctly.
“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night”

India's Chance at the World Cup 2007

2007-03-14T04:29:00.000-07:00

Ofcourse, I am predicting this one. And recall a quote from the most radical physict and a thinker of his times, Niel Bohr "Prediction is very difficult, especially if its about the future". In my case, it even more difficult with my lack of comprehension of what goes on in Sehwag's mind when he is playing.
My rational is based on the wholistic viewpoint of "India Poised". India has only one world cup victory to its credit and it was way back in 1983. Consider the situation then - the namesake head of the nation was a Sikh - Giani Jail Singh and the real head was a woman - Indira Gandhi. That potent combination of a weak man and a strong woman was something which leveraged Indian cricket team to lift the world cup. Heres the proof.

Lets do a fast forward of the time machine and move quickly to the year of consideration - 2007. Consider the situation, Notional head of the state - Sardar Manmohan Singh while the real ruler of the state - Italian woman Sonia Antonia Maino and then Sonia Gandhi.
With bad morphing skills I tried to paint a picture. See attached

So thats my claim to the cup till now but may change as matches progress. About Sehwag, he is consistent.

Bunch of grapes

2007-03-09T10:13:00.000-08:00

Is a phrase to describe the state of Nick's heart. The analogy is that the heart is like a bunch of grapes, you never know which one becomes soft when. Wow !! what an quote.
From today onwards, I will be publishing "quotes" that you need to know. These are the famous people in my memory bank. You may use the quotes as you like as long as you keep paying the royalties. These royalties are the inputs on where and how the quotes were used.

Preview of Neeraj Sharma's Blog

2007-03-06T08:10:00.001-08:00

No Permission, admissions or even respects ... its a free content world. Have a look at Sharmajis blog. http://asksharmaji.blogspot.com

First mover ... whats that ??

2007-03-06T07:53:00.000-08:00

Always believe in Second Mover's advantage. It helps you get results at somebody else's behest. And Oops I did it again. Been talking about starting the blog for a very long time now but could never manage to sit for more than 35 sec for it. Now that Sharmaji has already posted his first blog with content, it makes my life easier.
So, here you have a blog on what goes at 33 GP.

(As a Mark of respect to the guy who has an amazing website and has inspired me to start this, a lot of grass from his pot. )